We all seem to be intent in changing our thoughts and that when we do so we will have this magical experience of life and everything will be hunky dory.
Is this really true?
Whenever you try to change a thought you always do it “after the fact” that is after the thought has arisen. Thoughts come out of the mind like weeds come out of your garden; it is random unexpected and definitely not planned for.
Actually it is impossible to change ones thoughts. In fact it is the “wanting” to change the thought which is where the inherent problem lies. If you want to change something that has already happened you are in resistance to it. You have not accepted it. How can you change something that has already happened? That would be like trying to change what you had for breakfast this morning! Make sense?
Think for a second… I awake Wednesday morning and make myself a coffee; a mild addiction from which I have yet to disengage. Having made myself a coffee – savoured its fine aroma and delighted in its exquisitely rounded taste – I think to myself I really need to give this up. Ok lets backtrack a little…
You get a thought to have a cup of coffee; if you didn’t you wouldn’t know you wanted one… right?
Although I do appreciate that it’s entirely plausible that your beloved may have offered you one – in which case he/she should show some concern regarding your wish to refrain from coffee and all its sensual delights.
Assuming this is not the case you can then begin to ask yourself:
Where did this thought come from? Did I think it? Or did it seem to pop out of nowhere?
I submit to you that all thoughts even if provoked by someone else still come out of nowhere. They came from nowhere and are now here. In fact there really is no such place as nowhere; how can there be? Show me where it is!
Ok… so you have the thought act upon it and then the deed is done. So what to do?
If it’s your desire to change your thoughts and forgo your tasty morning beverage then what should your strategy be; how should one tackle this or any issue concerning ones thoughts and changing ones behaviour? There are really two options. These are as follows.
You think to have the cup of coffee or someone else provokes the thought or perhaps the aroma has found its way into your abode because Starbucks much to your dismay have opened up another ten stores one for every street in your neighbourhood (times ten if you live in the city)…
So you can either ignore the thought and not act upon it. The thought arises and you say to yourself…
NO!! I will most definitely not succumb to my desires; coffee no more!! You can take the warrior approach and not act upon your thoughts.
Or
2. You can become more aware of why you feel the need to give something up in the first place – how is the problem a problem? How does it negatively affect your life? Who made it a problem in the first place? Was it the media or some health care practitioner? Becoming aware of how it is a problem and who made it so, you can then begin to notice if it’s really a problem, or is it just someone else’s?
If you discover that it’s not your problem and someone else’s then you can rejoice and skip merrily to your nearest Starbucks and order seven lattes, one flavour for each day of the week. Though why you would wish to do that I have no idea and if you did, then it may in fact be a problem for you; in which case you have to take the other approach.
What is this?
OK, you get the thought to have the coffee. You then analyse and try to find where the thought comes from why is it there and what affect is it having on you. You go into why you want the coffee in the first place? Are you deceiving yourself? Are you just a slave to your desires?
Once you have explored every nook and cranny of why you want the coffee and how the thoughts arise and how it affects you… you can begin by bringing all your awareness to the cup of coffee – you consider it so deeply… feel all the sensations that this brings you. If you do this then you may just find that your problem will dissolve. Although you have to bring your total being to the act and not be reading the bloody paper or having a smoke.
With the first approach you resist your desire and fight with yourself and force yourself not to have the cup of coffee. If you take this approach you will hopefully find something else to do instead, like drink some vegetable juice or herbal tea. One thing I do not suggest is to have one of those horrid coffee alternatives made of dandelion or barley.
With the second approach you do the opposite – you bring all your awareness to the problem and having done so you transcend it. You rise above it. You become the Big Cheese the Head Honcho the Master Supremo. These are the two main approaches for changing any unwanted behaviour.
Crucial factors to be considered when making any change are:
How do you do what you do? What are the quality of your actions like? Are they hurried? Are you thinking about something else? Change the way you do something and then you change the experience of it. This may be seem obvious but this is the difference that makes the difference. In many ways it’s the spirit in which you do things that determines the meaning. It’s the quality of your consciousness!
Exaggerating your needs so as to make it a comedy or just completely ridiculous (hopefully something which this article has achieved). You go on about it so much in your mind that you reverse the way you feel about it. This can be very effective.
Trying to change your thoughts is futile as all thoughts arise from the unconscious or collective conscious. The latter is a big conscious we all share, much the same way as all fish share the ocean. How can you change something that has already happened? NO you cannot. You can however accept it and decide how to act upon it or change your perceptions about it…but if you try to find the origin of your thoughts you will have better chance of finding an Ethiopian eating a three course meal (a la carte).
Have fun changing
Chris
